I think I can safely say this is the longest I've ever gone without posting on LJ. Stupid Facebook! On LJ I can post actual sentences and paragraphs and thoughts and ideas...only no one ever reads them these days, because, well, I know if I check my LJ more than once a day I find that it hasn't even changed. On Facebook I can post tiny meaningless snippets about random nothings and links to stupid crap...and like 100 people see it every day.


What is wrong with this picture?

I'm not really whining, it's just sort of a passing thought. I miss the days where I, and my friends, had time to actually think about things and get philosophical and/or introspective.

That isn't to say I haven't had some deep conversations with real people (as opposed to you internet fake people, haha) in the last couple of weeks - but my memory isn't what it used to be, so I can't actually retain any of that crap for long. I'm just kidding...mostly.

Truthfully, I think it's sad how much time I used to have. It must say something about how old I feel that I really do feel now like I wasted so much of my youth.

Gah, someone get me some polyester pants and a collection of cat figurines, because I am officially old now.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to say 'whippersnapper'. There. Another nail in the coffin.

For those who are not FB inclined, or if it just went by to fast, the Doctor took the eyepatch off yesterday and I'm like a whole new person. I even went to work today, though I seem to be nearing the end of my tolerance for it. Blinking isn't fun.

But yeah, I'm off the vicodine and only 'fairly uncomfortable' now instead of OMG kill me please. And I can drive!

I just met Wynton Marsalis.

He was really nice and engaging and spoke at the Art's Initiative meeting today. I asked a question and he answered it, and then afterward I told him I was a very happy trumpet player to have met him. He kissed me on the cheek and said good luck with my music.

It was really cool!

This is a link to pictures of the surgery I am having. Do not click unless you have a really strong stomach. EW EW EW.

EW.

Seriously, if you do click, just remember that I warned you.

http://www.drmeronk.com/operations/allodermsoofcantho.html

But the results for the patient were good, and I really need to stop waking up in pain every night.

The before and afters give me hope, though.

Before
http://www.drmeronk.com/images3/allodermsoofcantho/frontalB.jpg

After
http://www.drmeronk.com/images3/allodermsoofcantho/frontalA.jpg

So. EW.

Tegan is getting really HUGE and sweet and talkative. I mean, man can that kid talk! She says things like, "No, Mama, I don't climb the couch." or "I go in time out, one minute!" etc, with all those tiny parts of speech included. And, as the quote would indicate, she did put herself in time out today. It was kind of hilarious, and she probably deserved it.

Tomorrow life changes in earnest for reals no backsies! What I mean is that Michael starts school and Tegan goes off to child care every day. I'm hoping she gets used to it as it becomes a reality and that it really is the best option for all.

There are other options - if she doesn't do well, I can work part time again, and I can work from home more, and I can teach lessons and try to work when Michael's not working, etc. But we really feel that the financial freedom and stability will lower our stress level to a point where though we spend less time together as a family, it will tend to be happy and productive time, rather than something less positive.

Things really are good, over all. My biggest complaint about my life right now is how boring my job is. The hours are great, the pay is good, the atmosphere is more than tolerable, but I would really prefer a job that had growth and interest, rather than what I have which is, "CLICK HERE, MONKEY!" and it truly does bore me to tears.

So many people are out of work or under paid, I know I shouldn't complain. I guess it really is too much to ask for your job to be challenging, meaningful and/or a positive force for good in the world.

I wish I had more time on every level for every thing that I hold dear. More time for friends, more time for family. More time to think, to create, to SLEEP. Yeah, I'm complaining about sleep but I'm up at midnight on a work night when I have to get up in six hours or something.

But hey, what's the point of living if I can't think and reflect once in a while?

That being said, how the hell are you people? I hear so little from LJ these days - everything is tweets and Facebook, and it's like thoughts have been reduced from paragraphs to sentences. Where's the meat?

If you actually read this entire post, I implore you; respond with a paragraph about what you are doing. About how you are. I would really love to know. Seriously.

I'm good at talking up a storm and damn if I can't overshare with the best of them.

Now it's your turn. Do it, you know you want to!

Anyone wanna get in on some garage sale action? We have a lot of baby clothes to get rid of, but not a lot else, and the more stuff the better!

I dunno when yet, I just know that I have got to get rid of these freaking baby clothes taking up half my closet.

After we watched one episode:

"I don't like it."
"Why not?"
"Well, that's really bad."

Hahahaha.

When I feel like things are on rocky ground, I'm much more disturbed by violence and depressing music, lyrics, or stories.

I just had to skip 3 different songs in my itunes that on any other day wouldn't have bothered me.

As an aside, does anyone around here know much about home loans? We are getting jerked around and I'm looking for some answers.

I know this is tempting fate, but seriously?

Fuck you.

No love,

Me

Dear separation anxiety...

I get you, I really do. I even kind of have a use for you, I mean, it's sorta flattering when your kid won't let go of your leg or ya know, sleep without you next to her.

But when I am POOP and the other parent is the one she clings to, it is a little much. Just sayin' - I'd like her to sleep some time this century so I can sleep too, and I don't even get to be flattered about it, because I am POOP.

Transition is NOT going well for us.

Kill me now. (Again? If someone killed me every time I requested it, I think I'd be dead 100's of times over.)

Since I know you are all waiting on pins and needles for the nightly bedtime ritual update, I am pleased to report that tonight took 45 minutes and while there was some crying, there was no screaming.

That's only night 3. There may be more ups and downs, but at least right now, I don't feel like it's hopeless.

Solve this "no-cry" sleep solution:

She screams and cries and carries on at bedtime even if we are IN her bed with her! There is NO no-cry sleep solution for us.

She just spent the last half hour screaming for Daddy even though I was right there.

Erg. Willful child!

Though I am frustrated with Tegan's current sleep issues, I am reminded, after perusing some web forums, why we chose not to use Ferber or the Cry-it-out method.

There are tons of people on there *pulling their hair out* because their 5 week old doesn't sleep through the night, or their 6 month old *still* wakes up to nurse... so they just let the baby 'cry it out' until they understand that they are NOT going to get what they need, and so they stop asking for it.

I know everyone is different, and I'm sure I'll catch some flack for this, but I'm not saying that anyone ever who used cry-it-out is evil or something. I can see it as a last resort. But people who expect their BABIES to behave like adults or children need some serious help.

That being said, right now, shutting her in her room and closing the door, turning off the baby monitor and just letting her cry herself to sleep actually sounds mildly tempting.

We've been trying to get her to sleep since fucking 8:30.

Kill me now.

The last couple of weeks have been good with regards to Tegan sleeping, but tonight completely SUCKS. I hate those days when I get home, play with her, eat dinner, then spend hours and hours trying to get her to go to bed, then it's time for me to go to bed. I would like to have been in bed an hour ago, in fact. Worse is the fact that she won't lay down with me, it has to be DADDY. That just stings.

And my back hurts. And my health insurance company can bite me twice over. And so on...



In other news, my nephew was born tonight! All healthy and good, yay!!!

I can't for the life of me think of a "family movie" that has a positive depiction of a same-sex couple...can you?

I had a really awful dream. One of those dreams where you're really really sad and upset about something, then you wake up and you are really relieved it was a dream, then once you think about it for a minute, you realize that it was totally stupid and you should never have been sad or upset.

I hate that.

What should the Governor cut? I see constant outrage at all the things that have been suggested, and, well... doesn't something have to go? What is the answer here?

Wow!
It's the collaborative spirit of the thing I like most. Getting everyone involved, giving them something to do...

I just realized I've been on the mud for more than half my life. *shudder*

Ok, so I've been a fan of Red Dwarf since, well, forever. I have all the tapes but I haven't watched them in a long time, since some of them are pretty thrashed and don't play very nice.

Tonight I was crocheting and I put the dvd version on streaming from netflix and...

They are wrong. I mean, the opening is different, the outside ship shots are new, and the incidental music is changed in some places, but that's not the problem.

There's dialogue missing. Has anyone else noticed this? I've done a bit of googling (not enough, I'm tired) and haven't really found anyone complaining about it.

There's also some entire things missing that have been replaced with totally new things, too. Like some of Holly's speeches are just totally replaced.

They skip over half of George McIntire's self-eulogy. He never says, "So don't think of me as someone who's dead, just someone who's no longer a threat to your marriages." for example. WTF?

Do other people just not notice it because they can't recite the entire thing word for word?